See that picture of that sweet boy? This is how he has looked for the last two and a half years - BINKIE in the MOUTH!!! The kid LOVES his binkie! And I mean LOVES it! And not only does he love it, but I think the kid NEEDS it. I feel like it has helped him get through the "being booted out of being the baby" so young stuff. He was so small when Kate was born and I still feel guilty that I ruined him for life. Obviously he doesn't have too much animosity toward Kate. He even shares his favorite pillow and blanket with her. Awwww, sweet.
On to the point...We have thought about making him get rid of the binkie for a while but it just hasn't felt like the right time. And before you judge me as a bad parent, know that I know he can't take the thing to kindergarten and that sometimes you have to do hard things as a parent. Blah, blah blah... I've heard it all, but he's my kid and it's just not something I have felt right about pushing.
But lately Bill has been trying really hard to encourage Hayden to give up the binkie in a nice, fun "man to man" sort of way. It's sweet to watch, and it is time to at least cut back on the "binkie time." It is starting to rub his chin raw. So Bill will ask him for his binkies and tell him he is a "Big Boy" and that he doesn't need it. He does okay if he is kept busy or has food to shove in his mouth. But every once in a while he still needs it.
Like yesterday he gave it to me when he woke up and said, "I Big Boy. Lotion on a chin," and he went and put lotion on his chin. SOOOO sweet. So at about noon, he started looking panicked and had these big ole tears in his eyes. I couldn't figure out what he wanted, but when I finally figured out that it was the binkie, he was so relieved and settled down for a nap.
Then today, he gave it up right when he woke up. It was the same as yesterday. But about fifteen minutes later, he was walking all over the house saying, "I Big Boy, I Big Boy," with a sad little look on his face. He is trying so hard, the cute thing. So we are trying to encourage him to get rid of it and to help him along if he wants to try, but here's my question:
I want to replace it with something to try to keep him occupied and to be a "Big Boy" sort of reward at the same time. Got any ideas? I really think that if we are taking away something that is such a comfort to him and that he needs so much we need to put something in its place. So if anyone has any fun ideas that we could use to replace it with, I'd love to hear them. I've thought of sippy cups, a blanket, a "Cars" toy, and lots of other things, but I would love to hear other ideas.
Ready...GO!!! Get the creative ideas coming my way PLEASE!
Just a little P.S. We are going to try to ENCOURAGE Hayden to get rid of his binkie if HE is ready. But I am a firm believer in waiting until your kid lets them know they are ready for a new phase (potty training, giving up the binkie, etc.) I know we have to help him along, but I just don't think it's a big deal to get rid of the binkie yet. So we will see how this goes. But I really do think that he needs something to replace it with when it is gone, so I am still looking for ideas. Thank you for the ideas so far. They are awesome!:)
20 comments:
So I don't actually have any new ideas for you, just wanted to say that it sounds like a good idea to find a replacement item for him since he is trying so hard. What a cutie to repeat to himself that he's a big boy! Good luck!!!
The only thing I could think of was a stuffed animal that he picked out or a small car or something. I don't know. My two-year-old is still in pacifier land too. He calls it his "sa sa". I've started taking it away from him, but he finds it when he's tired and we give it to him at nap and bedtime. And during church so he's a little quieter. lol
Good luck!
p.s. I miss you! :)
My two binkie kids got rid of them so early that they didn't need a replacement. But you could get him a new toy,(small that can be in his bed). That he gets to pick out.
All of my kids took a pacifier, but fortunately didn't have a hard time getting rid of it (after a few days).
I did hear of an idea that I thought was really cute, and thought about trying if I needed it. Talk to him about how he is a big boy now, that pacifiers are for babies, and that they need to be sent to them. If you send your binkies to the binkie fairy, she will send you a big boy toy. Then you package them all up, and "send" them in the mail. Then the next day a package comes for him, with his new big boy toys---a set of Duplo Legos, new coloring book and crayons, a car that he has been wanting, or even a new movie.
Good luck, what a cute boy he is being!!
You KNOW how I feel about it. I think he should have it until he throws it in the garbage by himself. To HELL with what people think. I had a baby who NEEDED her pacifier and because I listened to other people who thought they knew my own kid better than I did, I got rid of it. I wish I would have told them to shove off and worry about something more important. I think she has issues because she was never able to finish her oral stage. That makes me angry and sad.
People who judge you for that need a life. I have never seen a kindergartener take a binkie to school...hell, if he keeps it in his backpack as a comfort...SO WHAT!!!! He is only little once, his baby teeth will fall out, he can get braces, his chin will heal. What he can't get back is the comfort that he NEEDS from something so small.
WHOA! Hot button issue! You can tell I am NOT bitter AT.ALL.
I love you Hilary. You are a great mom! You know what he needs. Listen to your gut and your heart on this. Ignore the haters.
You can totally delete my comment if you want.
Oh, one more thing. I have another baby who is just as attached to her binkie as my other one. She will get rid of it when she is good and ready. Not one minute before. Pttttttt!!! (that is me blowing a raspberry to everyone who is anti-binkie)
You don't know me but I happened to come across your post and thought I'd comment. I'm with blackeyedsue - I LOVE BINKIES!! I've got 5 kids ages 9 to 1 and every single one has had a binky and I honestly couldn't care less what anyone thinks about our "timing".... the kids themselves have pretty much determined when they were ready to give it up. Every kid has been different. I suppose that if your husband is pushing it though - the idea to send them away was cute. It could just stay his little "soothie" though....only for times when he needs some comfort or for bedtime. In general though - I think we let other parents put uneeded pressure on us over such silly things. Don't doubt yourself! Good luck:)
I'm glad you posted this. I've been wondering when I should have Kade get rid of his. But I honestly think they will start to give it up on their own when their ready. Good luck!
Because I had only one kid who didn't care for a binky after 3 months, I can't really comment on when to throw it away. From a practical point of view, I think the issue is more with the parents, are they ready more than the kid? Is the issue more emotional for the parents than for the kid? Is the kid having speech problems (lisp etc.) because his speech is not developing correctly because the binky is in the mouth constantly.
I think you should consider all of these. I personally sucked on my thumb until I was 7 which was a total safety thing for me because my family life.
Every kid is an individual and have needs for specific reasons. I think you should let Hayden dictate when he is ready as long as his speech develops normally.
Corbin had a binky untill he was past 3 years old. He really needed it. He would suck on 2 at the same time, and carry one in each hand! One night he couldn't find it in his bed and we looked everywhere, so it was a bit traumatic but I think they should have it for as long as they "need" it. I think I took him to the store the next day to buy a Thomas Train! I'm a bribber!
we took grace's binkine from her at 18 mnths at night. Alena on the other hand she gave her's up at 6 mnths and the thumb sucking. I see kids in the store that are older that still has theres. good luck. take your time.
I agree with Steph. I think he's pretty awesome for trying so hard, and being "big boy...lotion chin," and I applaud you for allowing him to have it back when he has his moments of need.
What kills me most, is that Ava would NOT take a Binky. She hated them. But she loves to sneak his or Kate's any chance she can when we're there. hahaha cracks me up.
Hi Hilary:
I'm Claudia from Houston, remember me? I'm Jenn's friend.
well, I just made my blog, thanks to Jenn and I send you an invite.
LatinaMom is my name in the invite.
if you can get it, send me an email at
Claudiadelpapa@gmail.com
Your family is beautiful!
Many of my binky users just didn't care about them around 10-13 months. It was easy and they were ready.
That being said, I do have a thumb-sucker/blanket carrier (picture Linus with red hair :). This is not so easy. It;s not always easy to tag-along a blanket and I haven't seen a good get-rid-of-the-stinky-wrinkled-red-thumb solution.
Just let him get rid of it when he is ready.
I did hate to see four and five-year-olds in the UK not being able to talk clearly because they had a "dummy" or binky in their mouth. But that is just the speech pathologist coming out in me :)
Sounds like you are doing it the right way!! And I'm sure that he would love any gift that you got for him!!
You are so sweet. And I totally agree with you on the whole not pushing thing. I agree that kids need to take their time. There are enough hardships they are going to go through... and potty training and Binkies do not need to be included.
Good Job with the Mom skills! Your a good one.. and it shows!
Love ya Hill!!
Hilary:
You've been tagged by me!
Claudia.er
Oh Hilary I think Hayden is fine. I never even notice it when we are around other than he likes to carry around all of them which I think is cute. I always have my kids get rid of theirs slowly like I let them have them at bed time, nap time etc... I think that helps cause usually they don't really need them when they play but it slowly helps them along!!! I don't think there is a right answer though!! i think most things are personal and just depend on your parenting style which can never be right or wrong... it is just personal.
I am in the same boat!! So, this was great for me to read other peoples tips too. :) Good luck to us both with this paci thing. :)
One day when he is ready he will just decide he dosen't want it anymore. but if he needs something to help him feel like a big boy. . . I think he needs a Puppy! Nothing will help him forget the binki like a puppy.
You know I'm with you on this one! Bravo.
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