My Friends

So, this really may go down in history as the "sappiest" post ever written, but it is something I feel like I need to do.

This past few months have been quite a roller-coaster ride for me and my family. I absolutely ADORE my sweet baby and my darling kids and my wonderful husband and I really do have a great life and nothing to complain about. However, I get post-partum pretty bad. I had it bad after Hayden, and then it came to visit again after Kate. For those of you who have never had the joy of experiencing this wonderful condition, be so grateful. I don't want to dwell on it or go into details about it, but I do want to mention a few people who have helped me and in what ways they have so that if you ever know anyone who goes through this, you may get some ideas of how to help.

For starters: There is my husband. He has had to see ALL of my ugly sides that come out during this and try to love me through it all. I don't know how I got so lucky to have someone who loves me so unconditionally and truly tries to help me by calling my doctor, giving me a break when I need it, letting me flip out for no good reason, and then talking me down from my flip-outs. I could write forever about all he has done, but I will save the gushy stuff for Valentine's Day!

Next, there is Jenn. She is one of those friends that makes me tired to just talk to because she is always so happy and busy and full of so much positive energy. But if I ever have a bad day, she understands and doesn't judge me. I feel like I can just be me with her and she just wants to help and be there in whatever way she can. She is one of those friends I don't get to talk to as much as I would like, but every time I talk to her I know we will be such good friends forever. I wish she lived closer so maybe I could absorb some of her positive energy! I learn so much from her because she is always so concerned with how others are doing and wants to see her friends happy. She is an awesome mom and wife too. I constantly learn from her example.

Then there is Marja. Maybe she doesn't realize what she has done for me this year, but you know when someone seems like they have so many more important or more interesting things they could be doing than paying attention to you? Those people make you feel so important when they take time to listen. Well, that is Marja. She takes a genuine interest in my life and that of my family. Whenever we get a chance to see her, she sits and looks at you and is genuinely interested in what you have to say. When I told her I had some depression issues she emailed me some information she had found on it for another friend. She is just like that. And her smile - it just lights up a room. I love to sit and laugh with her. She is one of those people that just makes you forget about your problems when you are with her because you are having so much fun laughing.

Then we have Amy. She is one of those friends that thinks about other people a lot more than most. She does something kind for someone else just about every day. I am amazed at the amount of service she gives to others. She has such a kind heart and is the kind of friend that really does pray for you and is very in tune if you need something. She's the kind that will call you and say, "I just had a feeling you needed me today." Everyone needs a friend like her. Unfortunately, friends like her get used a lot because she is always there and so willing to lend a hand. I just hope someday I can be more like her. Not only is she sweet, but she is so funny. I remeber one of the first times I ever talked to her she was talking about her kids picking up on the choice words we all let slip sometime. She said she told her kids they couldn't swear until they are eight because she is accountable for them until then, but once they are eight they can swear all they want because it isn't on her shoulders any more. I adored her from that minute on. She is awesome.

Okay, there are many, many people who have helped me through rough times who I could mention. Bill has done the things for me and has supported me in a way that only a husband can, but there are also ways a close girlfriend can help you in a way no one else can. That one friend who has seen more than anyone else besides Bill already knows who she is. She has seen me through post-partum with two babies, and has been a constant source of encouragement and support. She is there whenever I need to talk through something or to just have the company of a friend. Really, besides the whole blood issue, she is a sister. I believe 100% that she was placed in my life for a reason. I don't know how I would have survived so many days without her. And don't get me wrong, we don't always just sit and bawl on the phone, or complain about life, or have pity parties. Most of the time we have very upbeat conversations and we laugh and laugh. But believe it or not, we have even had a couple of arguments (which I think are mostly because I am hormonal). But she is a good enough friend that we can talk about stuff, get it out in the open, and get over it just as fast as it came. I really don't know that I've ever had a girlfriend I am completely comfortable being honest with. (She is one of those friends that would tell me my butt looks big while trying on jeans, and I wouldn't be offended. Not that she ever has, but we just have that kind of a friendship.) Everyone needs someone like her to talk to. When I am having a real downer day, I don't get the judgmental comments from her like I do from some other people. (You know: You must be doing something wrong if you are feeling like that, etc.) She just listens and tries to understand. She gets it! When most women are feeling down, they need to just get it off their chest and have someone listen. That in itself helps so much. And then instead of criticism, from her I even get compliments! She is always building me up and trying to make me see the good in myself. She doesn't encourage the self-pity, but she validates my feelings (a very hard line to walk, I think). I could go on and on about the things she has done for me, but it all boils down to the fact that she has made such a huge impact on my life that at the end of the day I am a different person, a better person because of her. I honestly don't know how me or my family could have made it this far without her. She has a genuine love and concern for me, my husband and my kids. Kindness and friendship like that is priceless. I don't know what I have done to deserve to be counted among her friends, but I am so grateful, and hope to someday be the kind of friend she is to me.

So, since I HATE New Year's Resolutions because I can never keep them, my goal is to just try to learn from the friends I have been blessed with and try to be a better friend for them and because of them. That is my resolution. HAPPY NEW YEAR, and may you all have meaningful, lasting friendships throughout the year!!!